Sicknesss In The Air

Spring semester has begun and the workload is coming, hopefully I am prepared.  What I wasn't prepared for was the amount of loved ones who are seriously sick.  I like to believe things happen for a reason but it's hard to justify such illnesses happening to such great people.  A woman who has been hardworking and selfless her whole life shouldn't be in and out of the hospital with lung cancer.  A young woman who has her whole future ahead of her full of goals and success should be stressing about her next presentation, not about cancer.  A young girl who has the brightest personality and the most contagious laugh should be running in the playground with her friends and not having more risky surgeries in her 5 years of life than most people have in their lifetime.  It's things like these that really motivate me to seek health and happiness.  These people and what they are going through have made me realize that the little things I usually stress over are seriously not worth it.  With that being said, I am now extremely worried about them, but at least I've moved on to legitimate things to worry about.  On a lighter note, I have been going to the gym everyday this week.  I know it's somewhat surprising.  Why would a guy who looks like a string bean be going to the gym?  Well, I'm attempting to gain some muscle which is pretty hard when you have no mass to work with.  I can't even gain weight from eating a lot of food but we shall see.  At first I was hesitant to go to the gym because I felt like I would stick out against all the macho men who are the usual gym-goers.  However, it wasn't too bad.  I did stick out a bit but I got over it.  I just realized that they had to start from scratch at some point too.  It's been 4 days and I'm pretty sore.  I'm starting to see a slight change, I guess it's muscle definition and not gain but it's progress nonetheless =] 

The Start of The End

As my last semester at Pratt approaches, much faster than I wanted, a rush of emotions is coming over me.  Although I'm often worried and anxious, this feels different.  I'm nervous, full of dread, scared, and excited.  It's a mixture of many feelings that I can't avoid.  I am so ready to get out of school yet I'm not ready to head into reality.  I am dreading the 'real world' yet ready to leave the stresses of pratt behind.  I'm scared of this last semester and what it may bring, but I'm excited to finally finish.  I don't have a choice in the direct outcome of this semester let alone my entire career as a student.  My mom has always said "all you can do is your best" and that's exactly what I've done.  I've made it through 18 long years of school with so much in my brain, little in my pocket, and many in my heart.  The first day of classes for the spring semester is tomorrow which I can not believe.  It feels like winter break never began and like the holidays have yet to happen.  With worries about my classes and thesis swirling in my head, lets just add the thought of grad school into the mix.  While I thought I was approaching the end of being in school, thinking graduate school might be a waste at this point, I'm starting to reconsider.  It may be getting late to apply but we'll see.  I have no idea what I would major in or where I would go but the thoughts are now in my mind.  There are so many things to think about and worry about with school, the future, and my family.  All of these things in the mind of such a worry wart is probably not a good thing.  However, like always I'll kill some nerves and get through it.  It seems like an eternity away, but at the rate time is flying by it will be over in no time. 

Sleeping Arrangement Update

Although I was somewhat sad to see my last sleeping partner leave, I am much happier with the more normal sleeping arrangement.  I now have a normal bed that rests 1'6" off the floor rather than from the ceiling.  It took me a total of 13 hours to complete the update which included cleaning out all the clutter from the bed, under the bed, on the desk, and on the shelf.  That part of the process left my room looking like a tornado hit with mountains of debri.  The next step was disassembling the loft bed.  This wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.  I guess I must thank Ikea for that.  After bringing the remains of the bed outside, it was time to put together and stain my new resting place.  The disassembling and putting together of the beds was thought to be the most time consuming.  However, the organization and cleaning up the aftermath took the most time but was well worth it.  While 80% of my furniture is from ikea, my room does not look like an ikea showroom which I am happy about.  Overall I am very pleased.  As I write this post on my new bed, I'm just excited to have my computer on my lap while sitting upright.  On the loft bed, I couldn't even lift up my head.  While the aroma of the bombay mahogany stain still lingers, it is clowded by the joy of having an organized normal sleeping area.  

 

To sleep with another or not?

As sad as it is to say this, I think we must go our separate ways.  The one who I've spent many nights with for 6 years is no longer the one I wish to sleep with.  The sheen and height of your legs and the storage capacity were so great, but the comfort I've felt with you is seemingly drifting away.  I want one who is not so tall, not so cluttered, and not so noisy.  Is that too much to ask?  ....while many of you may be in shock of such words coming out of my mouth, what you don't know is that I'm ready to move on.  I'm ready for....................a normal..............bed.  Yup, I said a normal bed.  My current bed, which I've loved, is a loft bed/desk combo from ikea which just isn't working for me anymore.  I'm over it!

  

This bed is super functional, space saving, and good looking but it just isn't working for me anymore.  Clutter central is now under the desk.  The desk surface is now a collecter of random artifcacts, a menagerie of storage devices, and things that become misplaced.  The shelf is now a niche to hold old models from past projects and random books.  The actual sleeping surface is, well... only 1' 6" from my ceiling.  Enough said.  It is now time for a new, normal, and cheap bed that rests on the floor.  It will not only force me to get rid of my clutter, but imagine trying to change the sheets on this thing.  It's a bit of a work out.       

The new year is supposed to be the perfect time to change for the better.  Some people promise to become better people, get healthier, follow their dreams.  It's a time to change those things that bug you; a time to make changes that better oneself or others.  With this in mind, I can't help but to wonder why some people aren't taking advantage of this.  They're sticking to their old ways of being frustrated and easily annoyed.  They're still contemplating things and ideas that should have disappeared.  The new year is also a good excuse to expand your love.  Whether that means with hobbys, friends, or family.  To me, it seems like some people are stuck.  They are stuck thinking that they are correct at all times when, in fact, they are being very closed minded.  Stop getting annoyed at little things that you know are not worth it.  Stop getting frustrated with things that are easily changeable.  Stop being ungrateful.  Your alive and healthy and you have people that love you.  If you're too stubborn to see that, that should be your resolution.  Just realizing that those stupid things that make you so frustrated are seriously not worth it could make your life that much better.  Don't risk relationships and emotions over such things.  Be grateful for things you have, actions that have been done for you, and the people that are in your life.  You never know when things will change and you never know what tomorrow will bring.  Don't get hung up on the one thing that annoys you out of the million things that make you happy.  

So that was my new years rant.  Enjoy the message and take it to heart =]  happy new year!