The Big ‘C’
We all know
what it stands for. We all know how
devastating it can be. It starts off
being daunting and paralyzing. It grows
into something that takes over. It takes
over physically, mentally, thoroughly.
The ever growing nightmare. The
seemingly never ending battle. Hope
grows and good vibes grow. However, the
uncertainty is always there. All the
what if’s and how’s come to the forefront.
It’ll be ok. It’ll pass. We’ll step over this enormous hurtle and come
over stronger on the other side. Thoughts
that help us to push forward. Unknowing
at the time that the other side would be missing the only thing we were
fighting for. The puzzle piece to our
lives now lost forever. That missing
piece forever creating a hole in our hearts.
As the days grow into weeks that grow into months growing into years,
that hole may grow closed with scar tissue.
An everlasting reminder of this time.
It’s a time of loss and fear.
Now, the big ‘c’ can take on new meaning. We realize that the missing puzzle piece in
our lives turns this horrible big ‘c’ into courage, care, communication,
compassion. Making each and every one of
us feel lucky. Lucky to be here able to
experience life. We are able to
experience the emotions and joys and amazing things still yet to come. We need to feel grateful; grateful to have
known a truly amazing soul. A soul that was completely selfless. A soul that would reach into your heart,
giving it a huge bear hug until you could no longer breath. A soul whose smile was beyond words. And when
words were present, usually in the form of a corny half funny joke or sentimental
story that brought tears to his eyes you knew you were in the presence of
greatness. The hugs and smiles, jokes
and stories drew emotions from every person around. A feeling of contentment and happiness were
ever present. These are the things we
need to remember. They’ll be the things
to cherish. They’ll be the things to help
mend our broken hearts.
I always
knew I had a great dad. Taking us on camping trips and bowling nights. Becoming a constant chauffer for us and our
friends without a complaint. I always
knew he was proud of us. Bragging to
everyone he knew about our accomplishments as much as he could. I always knew I had his love and
support. Hearing from others how, we,
his children were his greatest treasure, motivation, sense of pride, and sole
reason for doing all he did makes me feel humble and amazed. It wasn’t until now that I realized just how
much he had touched every person around him.
Hearing stories from friends and family has opened my eyes even further
to see how truly amazing he was. He was
amazing in a subtle way. A gentle soul. He
wasn’t outspoken or outrageous. He
didn’t know the word no. He wasn’t outgoing and he wasn’t the life of the
party. But he was the rock. The person who was needed. Although, when the Mets scored a run, he
became the loudest person around. You’d
hear him from miles away. Startled by
the loudest cheer & clap you’ve ever heard.
Realizing
that all of my friends see him as their second dad is inspiring. All of his friends seeing him as a wonderful
spirit brings me happiness. The great
man. The man who brought comfort and
care. We’re all here to celebrate how
awesome he was. We’re here to celebrate
how awesome he made us feel. We’re all
here together. Together we will all
break through this wall of sadness, and with his soul on our shoulders, we will
be stronger on the other side.
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